Star Wars Kid

If you’re going to videotape your Star Wars fighting skills on a school camera, remember to remove the cassette when you’re done. Watch this embarrassingly good video.

It didn’t take long for the online community to remix it with full Star Wars special effects and lightsaber noises. I have no idea where this video originated from; if you know this kid, let me know. The kid has been identified… The full story here!

Update: I’ve turned off new comments in this thread because of the mean-spirited tone, and deleted the most vicious comments. Yes, he’s fat and awkward. We get it. Since 90% of the traffic to these videos is coming from gaming, technology, and Star Wars news websites, I’m guessing that most of you weren’t any cooler in junior high school than this poor kid. All you geeks, nerds, and dorks out there need to think twice before trashing one of your own.

275 thoughts on “Star Wars Kid

  1. his fighting technique is unstoppable!

    I like how he has to take a break after each movement. Did each bit require a five minute rest afterwards?

  2. Now that was damn funny.

    If there were more portly Jedis like that, I’d totally leave the dark side.

  3. As a skinny kid, speaking for all anormal folk, I would like to commend this Jedi for realizing it matters not, and fighting the good fight on past cultural preconceptions.

  4. Ya know…the first one was kinda sad…but the ‘remix’ put it all into perspective for me…

  5. That really is up there with the Chris Farley/Patrick Swayze Chippendale’s dance. I keep watching it, and each time I laugh my ass off.

  6. Now I’m not sure what I’ve just seen but I can tell you this. I’m not the worst Star Wars geek you will find but I couldn’t believe it. I never thought it was possible but this movie sucks and blows at the same time.

  7. This is directed by by attorneys…

    This movie does not suck nor does it blow.

  8. Its like a bad train wreck…you don’t want to look at it, but you just can’t stop yourself.

  9. He’s so cute! The Remix is better in my opinion, just because it makes him look like he has more attitude there at the end.

    Plus the really cool sound effects, of course. πŸ˜‰

  10. Is it just me or has anyone else noticed that tubby’s “light saber” is really a golf ball scoop?? FORE!!!

  11. Someone better call George Lucas, there may be some copyright infringement or something. Anyway, when is the sequel scheduled for release?

  12. What do you mean, you’re out of Baja Womprat Gorditas? Motherfucking Tatooine Taco Bell, I’m taking your ass out!

  13. There’s only one thing that can be going through this kid’s mind right now…
    “NO kitty, that’s MY pot pie!!!”

  14. When I saw the first video I was like, you poor BASTARD. Laughed, and cried at the same time it was so funny and pathetic at the same time. Then I thought, oh yah that was me when I was that age. My how things have changed. However when I saw the second one, I think it really vindicated him. Regardless of how dweeby and pathetic the whole display was, set to a sound track with special effects it was far cooler than the most athletic kid on my block and his Light Saber flashlight.

  15. Absolute Comedy! He even adds his own special lightsaber noise (which sad to say causes him to get winded even more). At first, I’m thinking the guy is in a high school Flag team, but the reality is he is an Intergalactic Warrior.

  16. Tired of the taunting from his classmates, Darth Maul takes up the Imperial Physical Fitness Challenge with new determination. Right after he contemplates implanting a crown of horns in his head and getting a full-body tattoo…

  17. This is quite possible the funnist thing I’ve seen in a long time… a long time…

  18. Replica Jedi Staff $25

    School Camera Rental Fee $5

    Video Cassete $3

    Making an ass out of yourself and having it spread across the internet…

    Priceless.

  19. Gotta warn people….dont have a mouthful of coffee when watching this for the 1st time…. id did and its all over my monitor now. class.

  20. thas the funniest thing i seen in a long time

    i love this clip as much as a necrophiliac loves a dead body

    thas to funny

    …oh yeah, and poor kid

  21. Don’t you feel a little sorry for the Spaz? I mean even Darth MAul had to start somewhere.

  22. If anyone knows how to find this kid, I have a red plastic double flashlight/saber ala Darth maul that I would LOVE to donate to his cause for more videos.

  23. I am forever endebted to you guys for making me laugh so friggin’ hard my stomach hurt. This fella may get ridiculed, but he will forever be spoken about as Jedi Knight Oboy-Eyam-Chubby. First round’s on me, kid. You rock.

  24. I have NEVER laughed that hard in my entire life. I was streaming tears down my face. That poor kid’s social life is completely, totally, and absolutely screwed!

    Scarab

  25. This will be on repeat all night while me and the boys are getting drunk.

    You can’t buy entertainment like this.

  26. In a distant galaxy far far away there was a mong who wanted to be darth maul……

    …………………he failed miserably

  27. Say,

    If someone could impose say yoda, or darth maall for him to fight with, they would have a chance for at worst letterman, and at best the independant film makers guild award. Someone get on it!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Signed concerned but not talented.

  28. oh. my. god.

    If you want to make this video infinately funnier, you need to play the theme from “Flashdance” in the background. Or “I Believe I Can Fly” by R. Kelly and put the movie in slow motion.

  29. LMAO

    Was he supposed to be Darth Haul or Pies Gon In?

    we need to see more of his talent

  30. I vividly recall the embarrasment I felt when my sister walked in on me performing my own version of “Flashdance: What A Feeling!” in my room, so many years ago.

    Now, if we take that shame and multiply it by five billion, we’ll begin to understand what Chub-Bacca is going through right about now.

  31. Well, that pretty much cinches it for me. I’m joining the Sith. At least they have a tiny bit of self respect!

  32. Patience! For the Jedi it is time to eat as well. Eat, eat. Hot. Good food, hmm? Good, hmm?

  33. Is this staged? I mean come on. I laughed so hard I think I burst my spleen.

  34. I really hope that the guy who is actually featured there doesn’t see this, because I’d really hate to be him if he does….

    I mean, this is the sorta thing that can drive some people to suicide….

    But hey, PEOPLE!

    I admit…. I used to do that sort of thing back at home (in Wales) out in the front yard with the spare broom-handle…

    I choose to believe I do it with somewhat more flare than the broad guy, but then I’m skin & bones so there isn’t so much danger of me hitting myself… though I do have a nasty habit of forgetting its a staff and using it like a rapier…

    Don’t you guys dare claim you have never done anything like that…

  35. I cried with laughter, then cried some more. And once more for good measure.

    Oh My God.

  36. Oh… My… GOD. That is SERIOUSLY the funniest thing I have seen in a very very logn time. I’m here at work tryign so hard not to bust out laughing uncontrollably.

    Holy shit.

  37. It’s so fantastic. The best part has to be in the original movie when he kind of spins out of frame in a menacing manner.

    So good. I’ve watched it about 15 times so far. I love that freakin’ kid.

  38. At first I felt sorry for him…….. then I just pissed myself!! I bet he will remeber to wipe the tape next time. ( Please note, no sexual pun was intended by that comment )

  39. Give the poor kid a break. Maybe he can’t help his weight…….geez. Anything else ya’ll have to do but to tease someone b/c he’s overweight?? Pathetic

  40. Okay, wow….I find the fourth little segment the most amusing because he reminded me of a spastic ballerina. On quaaludes. If you’re gonna do the whole flail the metal pole thing, at least try not to lift your legs…it scares the children. Also, I’m surprised he didn’t take out the camera at least once, considering that he had zero balance, plus the little swagger he always seems to have when walking into frame. PURE GOLD!

  41. It’s the determined look in his eyes and the occasional light sabre noises that make it a piece of comedy perfection.

  42. peed ourselves laughing at the movie and then ..all the remarks after. did jabba the hutt have a son to avenge him? the sheer poetic grace of his gargantuan bulk as he manoevered with almost hypnotically ballet-like skills will long haunt my memories. blinding.

  43. I am utterly speechless….which very rarely happens..i think the guy forgot to take his Ritalin..really where the hell does he get the energy. I have to give the guy advice though…if your buddies find this out…RUN JEDI NIGHT RUN!!

    I am never going to be able to watch Star Wars without a straight face again! Thank You I needed this after a long week of work!

  44. I hope if this kids sees this, that realizes how much joy he is spreading around the world.

  45. That’s so damn funny… words just seem inadiquate.

    But I do have an odd respect for him. Filming it.

    At school.

  46. HMMMMMMMMM strong is he with the dork side! Portly he is yeeeessss hehehehe he move like a baboon with two clubed feet! A jedi he will be but on a bantha farm!

  47. can someone please super impose some womprats or mynocks for him to fight or something… without them its just hilariously pathetic. but yet its strangly hypnotic..

  48. OMG I am SOOO doing this now, especially after the one guy posted the make-your-own-lightsabre link. So yes, await another video, only this time with dueling Jedi, a death scene, slimmer combatants, and maybe some blasters dubbed in.

  49. the funny thing is i can almost relate with that kid. who after watching yoda kick ass wouldn’t want to run around beating the crap out of imaginary villians.

    kinda like dancing in front of the mirror after watching sat. night fever. or showgirls.

    or maybe thats just me.

  50. That kid is over the top funny! – I too haven’t laughed that hard in ages! I love, I mean I LOVE the intensity on his face in the last frame of the film. Seems to me hes used the jedi funny bone trick on me!

    Kid, who ever you are – YOU ROCK!!!

  51. Incidentally, does anyone like how he gets so focused on the whole swirling that he does a spectacular trip on the yellow thing, nearly takes out a whole wall as he hits it, AND YET MANAGES TO RECOVER WITH NO SENSE OF SHAME? It’s actually quite inspiring…

  52. I’d like to thank everyone for participating in the Lucas Arts focus group. Judging from your comments, it would seem that the world is not yet ready for a Politically Correct re-telling of the Star Wars saga. Our market research advisor was hopeful that the casting of Jerry would resonate with generation Y, but as is clearly evident from your feedback, the world is not yet ready for a mentally and physically challenged Jedi Knight. No hard feelings — better to learn now than at the box office! Thanks folks!

  53. Thankyou.

    Such energy. I bet I’d never look that good doing my moves and he still has time for the noises, too. Yowsa. Well done that man. The padawan is strong with the force.

  54. Hey, this kid is great! He should try to get the most out of his fifteen minutes of fame here.

    I think people laugh because everyone knows they did something equally stupid as a kid and are glad their embarrassing moments aren’t on display like this… I think he’s kind of a cute kid. Probably a gamer geek too – which I think is a good thing!

  55. ummm…..does anyone feel sorry for that kid? Yeah, we can all laugh at his expense, but he’s probably seen this on the net, and been really hurt….

    Sorry to spoil your fun

  56. Am I the only one that thinks he wasn’t trying to act like a Jedi at all? I mean, he’s swinging a stick around. I did that as a kid, I was never trying to be a Jedi.

  57. This guy is great…I bet if George Lucas sees this he will be offering him a part in Episode 3.

  58. Well if he was to slow down just a tad maybe he wouldn’t fall over every 5 seconds and need to recover.

    oh and why the basketball scene at the end or did a Sith lord place him through the basket.

  59. This is why the Internet was invented. Respect out to Mr. Kipling Jr. there though…

  60. wow that was so funny. my sides hurt from laughing so much. i only hope that kid never finds this site though.

  61. Hey! dont be so harsh, it takes a lot of effort to be that bad… yet so good. He’s gone so far past bad that hes ace. Pure genius

  62. With a little more practice he may just be able to kill someone, or himself, or both.

    I’m waiting for the next video, the one where he falls and gets the stick stuck up his @$$!

  63. You just know this guy got kicked out of Jedi school. I had a friend who did some really cool Jedi moves on camera, the difference being he knew what he was doing. He did “Ken Do” for like 3 years so it was pretty insane.

  64. you know. . it’s like watching a lava lamp. a really fast, epileptic lava lamp. hypnotic.

  65. If he’s the last hope, then I’m pretty sure we’re all going to die.

  66. There is definately some talent in this one. (The force is strong.) His technique is awesome. Toward the end it’s sorta “drunken jedi aggression”. I think Lucas should definately look into giving him a role (small, or whatever) in the upcoming future production. You know … even if it’s in the background getting his ass kicked. I think it’s deserving.

  67. Now that is what I call “pole dancing” at it’s finest.

    Although you can’t say it wouldn’t be equally as funny with a skinny kid. I don’t think his weight is an issue..

    I would definitely like to take my blue lightsabre flashlight and challenge him to a duel!

  68. I broke into spontaneous applause.

    Well done my chubby padewan friend. You have cemented yourself into the annals of Internet mediocrity for years to come.

  69. The truly, truly sad part about this movie is that it’s still more entertaining, more intellectually provocative, and has better acting than the last 2 Star Wars movies.

  70. Blah blah blah. I’m witty. Read me. I’ll make fun of the obese kid with really clever names punning on the words fat, pie, or cake and all your favorite Star Wars geek crap.

    Fuckers.

    Cheers to the boy with the stick. The rest of you can burn in hell.

  71. Oh. My. Sweet. Merciful. Jesus.

    I laughed till my sides hurt. Then I stopped. Then I watched the remix and laughed harder. Then I stopped. Now I just keep bursting into muffled laughter every now and then…this is going to scar me for life. But in a good way.

    VIVA LA TUBBY JEDI

  72. Lighten up on the guy, he was just having fun. Not that it wasn’t funny, but those of you calling him “tubby” or “lard-ass” could easily get called “q-tip”, “alibino”, “never-gets-laid”, or “got-beat-up-every-day-in-junior-high”.

    Let the Jedi practice, the Force is strong with this one.

  73. Wow, I think I’m going to do one of two things:

    1. Laugh my ass off, or…

    2. Cry hysterically at the realization that nothing is sacred anymore.

    Both sound pretty good right now.

  74. halfliquid’s post:

    I think Lucas should definately look into giving him a role (small, or whatever) in the upcoming future production. You know … even if it’s in the background getting his ass kicked. I think it’s deserving.

    Agreed, the search could be posted on the starwars/lucasarts websites, then when he comes to claim his prize, we could all laugh at him via live internet feed.

    But seriously, maybe he intentionally did all this (even submitted it to whatever site/persons that originally found it) Maybe right now he’s laughing at all the notice he’s received, like a modern day Lardass Hogan….

  75. The funniest thing I’ve ever seen. Though it kind of worries me that myself and a whole bunch of mates were doing much the same thing right before we saw Episode 2, except with the lightsabre toys, and outside … in public. We looked far less cool than this kid.

  76. It looks more like he’s trying to immitate Donnatello of the Turtles than Darth Maul. I knew I used to do that all the time with my compadres. Plus I think he’s making swoosh sounds, not lightsaber sounds.

    He looks totally badass in the remix

  77. You know, the frightening thing is, he’s better at this than most of the so-called “Jedi” in that battle at the end of Ep.2. Remember them? The ones who looked like someone handed them a broomstick and told them to wave it around dramatically, oh, and try not to drop it on their foot this time? They should seriously have this kid give ’em some lessons–the spirit is willing, even if the body is not. Props to you, kid! ^_^

  78. Yeah, the lifting of the leg is too much. πŸ˜€

    You people don’t realize that we are privileged to see very rare footage of the Master of the Winded Drunken Monkey Jedi style in action.

    How do I know this? Because he possesses a skill perfected only by practitioners of that discipline…that of being able to hold the light sabre, itself, without losing fingers.

    I haven’t seen spinning with that much enthusiasm and energy since Natalie Merchant was with the 10,000 Maniacs.

  79. He is a sweet boy with a lot of enthusiasm. When it comes to SW he goes beyond devoted to another dimension. What a dear young man. See you on Sunday! We’re having your favorite pie.

  80. I didn’t know guys this sad really exists. I thought it was so embarrasing that i couldn’t even laugh. Poor guy.

    (Considering Aumshinto’s post) I have trained Kendo for 1,5 years .. i could probably do it better then him if i felt like going psycho (which i do sometimes in mm garden but not with dorky star wars surreal fights … *Shivers*) but i wouldn’t dream of filming myself cause i know it’d look like bollocks no amtter how good you are πŸ™‚

  81. my dear sweet god that was bloody hilaorous, when he started to spin around flayling his legs out like a demented bally dancer, pure class.

    the pillik is strong in this one………

  82. Well, if true, that would certainly explain why he grabs the ends of the “light sabre”.

    I’ve learned a thing or one about Togakure-ryu Ninjutsu, which also employs the Bo Staff, but I see no discernable trace of any of the basic elements (earth, water, fire, wind & void) of the art, here.

    It looks much more like an attempt to imitate Darth Maul.

  83. We only make fun of the fatness because it is a distinguishing charecteristic. And because his chubbiness causes him to be somewhat less than graceful…

  84. That kid was pretty good. I can’t say I was EXTREMELY impressed (having just watched the final Matrix Reloaded trailer) but for his physical condition he was very good :up:

    BTW if he keeps doing stuff like that he will be skinny before long!

  85. i was thinking, this kid might not be trying to be a jedi…maybe he’s just showing off martial arts moves he learned……in a movie, or something…

  86. I bet all star wars actors look like this without the sound effects………… but dam this kid make those guys look bad, you go boy!!!

  87. Wow. Simply put, this kid can 1) never live this down 2) never watch any thing SW related without thinking about his humiliation and 3) never run for president of any country ever. That poor poor boy.

  88. My Lord. You have returned and brought this dumb ass with you. Brilliant “Remix”. Maybe the kid has some talent. Better check his “you know what levels”, he could go DARK.

    Jim Dracula – Check out Honchie NOW, or Die Trying.

  89. I thought about doing this for s while, time to break out the cam and adobe, never mind

  90. I love how posting about some kids adventures turned into a ” Well I know so much about Ninjistu…” ego-stroking thread. You people are so sad that you will use any chance you get to pretend that you should be the greatest fighter of all time.

  91. He’s gonna be ‘young luke skywalker’ in the next movie. Hurrah to you nerdy…hurrah to you

  92. am I the only one that didn’t find it funny? I actually found it a waste of bandwidth.

    but I can say after watching the raw version and then the added effects…It was a nicely done remix, but I think my cat has done funnier things

  93. I can understand a guy acting out an imaginary duel or whatever. He’s enthusiastic, there’s nothing wrong with that. But taping it? The only thing that is more pathetic than that is that there are comments from people here who are impressed by his martial prowess or something. I hope none of them are serious.

    I need to take a nice long vacation to reality.

  94. lol, he almost took off a finger there during the slip.

    And good job on making him move in time to the music on the remix. It adds a whole new effect.

    Poor boy,doesn’t even know how he’s being exploited . . .

  95. Actually, he isn’t trying to mimic Darth Maul, but Kilik from Soul Calibur. In that game, you can unlock training sequences for the different characters. Sadly enough, I recognize some of his movements (the kicks and head motions) to be from that training sequence.

  96. This things is missing one thing, him huffing and puffing during the moves. Other than that, tears are still rolling down my face from laughing.

    Expect to see more of these in the next few months.

  97. My brain just imploded and created a black hole. The event horizon will soon absorb this kid’s neighborhood.

  98. I think he was turning purple during part of it! lmao, that was pathetic and halarious at the same time.

  99. Episode III starts filming soon and if anyone from Lucasfilm runs across this gem, they owe it to the world to let this blademaster die in the background of major battle.

  100. Someone please remix this with him actually fighting enemies. That would be great.

  101. I want to BE him… This deserves the respect of us all. I hope he never stops smiling knowing this is out there.

  102. Even though his staff technique could use a little work, that kid’s got a future as the next Fred Astaire. Or at least one of the line dancers.

  103. Aw, people are mean. With some training, he could really be something. He certainly has passion! Sure, I giggle too, but just because it’s funny doesn’t mean he isn’t any good.

  104. almost as funny as my crazy asian trying to catch a tree video πŸ˜€ but not quite

  105. I really wish the remix part had a lot more of the feeble kicks and the Farley’esque stumbling and flailing. At the very end I’m pretty sure the video was sped up to make it look like he was a bit more dextrous than what he obviously is. I laughed myself to tears with the original.

  106. classical star wars moves, does not even have planned what he will do and it looks as though he will smack himself in the face a few times with his stick. VERY FUNNY VIDEO

  107. You go dude! If you read this, I hope you’ll realize that you have far more courage than anyone here who has insulted you can ever claim to have. I hope Lucas casts you in Ep. III just to show them up! Lucas is not a small man either, if you remember.

    Always be yourself, and screw what everyone else thinks!

  108. I’m surprised he didn’t take out the camera with some of those moves! Also, when he started the kicks, he looked like a Suboteo figure rolling around the screen. Those were the only bits I could see through my fingres, that guy will not be able to live this down!

  109. “A true Classic”

    “Two Thumbs Up!!”

    “Five and a half stars”

    “If you only see one movie this year, make sure it’s not this one”

  110. Damn, that’s so fucking funny. I fell off my chair watching that Star Wars remix. He’s definately got guts [pun intended] to do this in front of a camera.

  111. DO NOT MOCK OUR LEADER!!!! We are summoning him back to the Council of 9 on planet Corpulent in the Bulgedor system to dance and make merry for our collective mind and to reprogram him for Earth’s eventual destruction.

    you have been warned!

    warble-warble-warble

    Beep-beep

  112. Now I can’t say that I’ve done anything quite like this before whenever I’ve wanted to do a fight scene me and my brother would just use our shenai’s on eachother =P

  113. OMG…imagine watching this for the first time with only 3 hrs of sleep! Ok, my life looks a little better and a bit more dull now…thanks for the laughs.

  114. Hey Optional, you dumb-ass, if a kid claims to be practicing Ninjutsu and doesn’t know the 5 elements, he’s full of crap or has been conned by one of the many Karate-turned-Ninjutsu-to-make-a-quick-buck studios!

    You can read THAT in any Togakure-Ryu Ninjutsu book or even on the internet. Revealing basic elements is not a claim to Master status, nincomshite. I thought the nickname “Armchair-Shinobi” made that clear, but maybe you don’t even know what a Shinobi is?

  115. Dude… I love how he goes from the silent manuvers to the full-on noises. Kickass man!

  116. Damn, I made a really bad mistake when watching this: I read all the comments first. I did think it was pretty funny, but having already read all the incredibly cruel things that people wrote about this poor guy kind of took some of the humor away. Yes, it IS really funny, people, but come on.

    And yeah, after reading what the one guy pointed out about Killik from Soul Calibur, I think I recognize some of those moves too. I don’t think this is supposed to be Star Wars at all. Just your general l33t bo staff skillz… or not.

  117. And oh, yeah, Togakure-ryu? Wasn’t that the style that Stephen K. Hayes (I think that was his name) wrote all those really fake-ass “How to be a Ninja” books about? With all the bullshit stories about his mystical training as the “first American to ever learn Ninjutsu?”

    What the fuck ever. Having read a couple of paperbacks you can pick up in Borders doesn’t make you a ninja grandmaster.

  118. So this is why schools have Guidance Counselors…. I never knew.

  119. I duel and I am fat but that first video put me to look extremly good. He needs to improve more on his battle techniqe and less with the fairy dancing. Dont hit the damn ground either unless you do it knowingly. This fat kid was pathectic.

    But the Remix was gosu : )

  120. Give the guy a break. Which one of you can honestly say you never played lightsabers with a friend or acted as if you were someone from any of the first Star Wars films?

    I definately want to cast him in Episode 3, so to all of you who made fun, you lost out.

    Kid, drop me an e-mail, we’ll talk.

  121. The first one, raw footage, had no funny factor. It was a ‘oh’ kind of reaction, the remix is hilarious. Not because of the person himself, just on the whole setup and premise.

    If I knew this person, would I think less of him? No. Video taping yourself doing whatever might not be the best idea, but hey, some people like to do that. But I agree with the others that he should be in Episode III as Yoda’s latest apprentice!

  122. Okay, this gets weirder and weirder. Way back on this list of posts, somebody named “Hal” correctly posted that this footage is, in fact, from the site

    http://www.msu.edu/~couilla3/ninja/news.htm

    or “Real Ultimate Power.” You can go right from there to the link where the site’s author, a “Rob Hamburger,” offers the video for download as a demonstration of his “bow staff” (sic) skills. Apparently, all assumptions of logic and basic human dignity to the contrary, this “Hamburger” individually actually posted this footage to the internet ON PURPOSE.

    Frankly, the website is so silly and overblown that it could only have been written by somebody like the kid in this video… or at least, somebody pretending to be like that. Take a look at the website. Take a look at the faked “CNN articles” documenting a supposed lawsuit against the site. This is not really the work of somebody who’s this stupid. This is the work of somebody who gets a kick out of PRETENDING to be this stupid.

    I hate to say this, because most of what makes this video funny is the thought of how embarrassing it would be to have something like that hit the internet by accident. Unfortunately, there’s no accident here, no “sweet kid” caught in innocent overenthusiasm. Just the posturing of an incredibly juvenile individual who likes to pretend to be stupid in order to get attention. Just another lamer troll infesting the internet, albeit slightly more creative and dedicated to the pursuit of his own humiliation.

    (Incidentally, I take back what I said about mean jokes directed at this kid. If he gets a kick out of deliberately acting stupid and exposing himself to ridicule, far be it from me to object.)

  123. Speaking as a hefty person myself, I’ll give the kid credit for trying. Had I tried something like that, I’d probably take out the camera, any bystanders, and probably myself in the process! It was still a pretty funny clip. But it shows that you can still do things when you put your mind to it, regardless of size. I’m not so skinny myself, and I’m playing a leading role as a villain in a Star Wars fanfilm (which is totally going to kick azz), so I’d just like to say to the big SW peeps out there, don’t let nothing get in your way of your dreams, peeps. Still a funny video though :p

  124. Does this kid even know that someone made a remix of his movie with special FX added???

  125. “And oh, yeah, Togakure-ryu? Wasn’t that the style that Stephen K. Hayes (I think that was his name) wrote all those really fake-ass ‘How to be a Ninja’ books about? With all the bullshit stories about his mystical training as the ‘first American to ever learn Ninjutsu?'”

    If you want to characterize it that way, then yes, but Stephen K. Hayes brought the art to America. It was already being taught by Masaaki Hatsumi in Japan. Translations of his Japanese works have been published in English. All of those other ryus are derivative Hollywood, Karate, Tae-Kwan-Do, and Kung-Fu baloney and started showing up in the late 80’s. Togakure-ryu Ninjutsu, published in America the early 80’s, demonstrates its own method and doesn’t just rob from other styles. In fact, it forsakes the katas of Karate and the taking to the air of Kung-fu in favor of practical methods. You might think of it as a Japanese form of survivalism, if you know anything about 80’s survivalism. (I can’t speak on survivalism in the 90’s and beyond.) It embraces all practical methods that fit within the five elements and teaches concepts like camouflage and stealth that really work. Authentic Ninjutsu is not beyond employing firearms. Hayes has long had a training HQ in Dayton, Ohio, and there are probably authorized teachers of Togakure-ryu Ninjutsu not far from where you live. (Check with Bujinkan to make sure they are authorized.)

    Do you know ANOTHER man who claims to be the first American taught authentic Ninjutsu who didn’t reveal himself AFTER Hayes?

    “Having read a couple of paperbacks you can pick up in Borders doesn’t make you a ninja grandmaster.”

    Oh, but watching Star Wars Episode 2 does? That was exactly my point, Nimrod! If even *I* detect no Ninjutsu training, how much more so would an authentic practitioner of Ninjutsu? Look at the kid’s method! Would any authentic style actually lay claim to the kid? Sure, with a stick that long, anybody could be dangerous, but not against an authentically trained Shinobi Warrior.

  126. That was THE funnest thing I have EVER seen! Wow…I could not stop laughing. What a great kid…

  127. http://www.hanzo-ng.com/bujinkan/ninja.html

    This appears to be authentic Togakure-ryu Ninjutsu, in this case out of Malaysia.

    You can click on the index link at the bottom for more of the site, with pictures.

    You don’t have to work at the Mint to detect a fake dollar bill, especially if it is made with Crayola Crayons.

  128. Ya know, it was really funny at first, and the first page or so of comments were hilarious, but I’m beginning to regret sending this link, based on the sheer nastiness that’s been on display in the more recent comments…

  129. By the way, I think that the video is real, and that Rob Hamburger got the footage first and decided to post it on his site under the pretext of “Showing of his skills with his bostaff.” The kids moves are just too intense to be fake.

  130. First, to all you who slammed on this kid for being overweight, just think of the old bumper sticker: “I’m fat, you’re ugly, but at least I can lose weght.” πŸ™‚

    Second, I’m sure you’ve seen behind-the-scenes footage of action films. Nearly every actor barely gives one-tenth the energy this guy did. With the right camera angles and the same amount of energy, this kid will kick serious pooper.

    Finally, it’d be nothing short of Holy Vindication if he were cast as a Jedi extra in E-III. HOLLA, KID!!!

  131. I couldn’t stop laughing! I realised something about this kid… Sure, people will make fun of his … um … stature, but, hell, he’s doing something most of us would only dream of! Kudos to him and his courage!

    Oh, yeah… if he -were- the last Jedi, I’d be shittin’ in my boots right now. He’s fearless!

  132. The particularly amusing fact here is that many of you who are making fun of him are probably doing so to stoke your own ego and to bolster your own lacking self-esteem.

    The kid has the balls to do something without feeling self-conscious — how many of you can say the same? He didn’t display the brains necessary to erase the film, first, but that’s another story entirely.

    Finally, the fact that the remix actually looks good says a lot. How much footage of uncut fight scenes do you see from movies? Do you imagine it probably gets pretty bad at times? That’s what editors and sound effects are for.

  133. The best part are the people angrily defending the comments he gets. This guy’s a jackass. If you think his “fighting technique is good” or whatever, then you don’t know anything about fighting. Flailing about violently and throwing your leg up occasionally (A full 3 feet in the air, hooboy) is stupid. Which is why it’s so very funny.

    I’ve read and looked around a LOT about martial arts, and as far as I’m concerned, ninjutsu is dead. It was an esoteric art that was made up of too much in the first place, and in this day and age it’s impractical and pretty much impossible to find a real teacher.

    The really sad thing is how the person is right who said that the kid’s better than the Episode 2 Jedi at the end.

  134. Why don’t all of you who are complaining just shut up. It’s sad that you are so narrow minded that you find it offensive to laugh at someone making a fool of theirselves because they are fat. Christ grow up.

  135. I hate to say this, but even though I am myself heavier set, I had to laugh at the poor kid, especially the remix. It sucks that a lot of you, however seem to ridicule the kid for being heavier set… maybe it isn’t something he can really help, and you should be ashamed for insulting him, for if you have to get your pleasure by insulting someone else, then you have a lot more problems than he does. At least he had the confidence to record his attempt at using whatever he was doing on tape and hoped it would never get out into the world, but now that it is, the people who sit here and poke fun at him for doing something as silly as this that they’ve probably done before or something similar shows him how cruel and voyeuristic our society is. I think the kid will never step forward to claim this video as his own because of all of the fat jokes imed at him, and I disagree that just because he is fat, it’s funnier. If he were skinnier and had a complexion of a “dork” you’d be insulting him and laughing just as hard.

    Props to the kid however for recording this and allowing a heavier set person a few laughs in an otherwise mediocre day.

  136. If the kid’s reading this, hopefully he’ll have gleaned some of the more positive points: He’s got a lot a guts for dealing with this. Because the fact is, he’s GOT to deal with it now. Okay, he may not be perfect – who is? Good luck and big respect to the guy.

    Having said that; EVERYONE LIKES TO SEE A FAT KID FAIL.

    I laughed my ass off :p MINT.

  137. I love it when he kicks air!

    This dude is hillarious!

    He’s dancing around like a drunk bear πŸ˜€

    Rrraou!!!

  138. This kid looks more like he wants to be Jackie Chan than a jedi. I think he just watched some crappy kung-fu flick, why does everyone have to think of Star Wars first?

  139. But the funniest thing would have been if he had knocked the camera right off it’s tripod!

    Or at least nudging it a little bit.

    I agree that his little dance and sound at 1:20 are the bomb.

    He is Über 1337!

  140. realultimatepower wasn’t the first. The video was put on the site May 1st, and the post dated Apr. 28th. The copy I have is dated Apr. 26th. So t’wasn’t him.

    The copy I have (from http://members.shaw.ca/lith/ghyslain_razaa.wmv) was obtained through a link on fark.com; that’s where the video likely got its start. Alas, that link isn’t valid anymore.

    (Just doin’ my part to clear up confusion. Not that anyone’s likely to read down this far…)

  141. Hey, don’t tell me that there isn’t some overweight onlooker out there laughing his ass off at this poor boy that wouldn’t look similarly, ah, unskilled. Soon his training will be complete and he will unleash his awesome Jedi abilities upon those who scorned him…

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