I have a bunch of friends coming into town for ROFLCon Summit on Saturday, and rather than email them my suggestions of stuff to do in Portland, I thought I’d make it public.

This is my guide to PDX for people like me: people who geek out about good food, beer, comics, and computers. It’s for people who want to experience the best of Portland in a short period of time, with a heavy focus on new stuff: many of the places listed here have opened in the last year.

One thing you’ll notice is that most of the best stuff isn’t in the downtown area. To really experience Portland, you’ll need to cross the bridge to the east side. But don’t worry, PDX is tiny and nothing will take you more than a few minutes by bus, bike, or taxi.

If you want any other suggestions, or have suggestions of your own, let me know!

View Waxy.org’s Essential Guide to Portland 2011 in a larger map

Restaurants

Tasty n Sons / Tasty n Alder (NE/SW)

If you have to choose one place to eat breakfast in Portland, go here. Imagine tapas-style small plates, but focused only on breakfast staples. A new downtown location brings a slightly different menu throughout the day and evening, both are great but get busy. Brunch daily from 9am.

Meat Cheese Bread and Bunk Sandwiches (SE/SW)

These two restaurants are focused on making the best sandwiches in Portland. If it’s late, try Bunk Bar in inner SE, which brings Bunk’s sandwiches to a bar-like setting.

Salt & Straw (NE/NW)

Tyler Malek’s creative flavors and farm-to-cone ingredients make this the best ice cream around. Try the pear w/blue cheese, honey-strawberry-balsamic with black pepper, or special flavors made with local microbrewed beers. Now with a second location on NW 23rd.

Pine State Biscuits (NE)

Heart-stopping, delicious biscuit sandwiches. I don’t think there’s a bad thing on the menu, but the Reggie and Moneyball are particularly great. If you skip breakfast, their Alberta location stays open until 1am on Fridays and Saturdays. (Their SE Belmont location closed in early 2013, soon to reopen on Division.)

Screen Door (SE)

Portland meets the South, with farm-to-table comfort food. Surprisingly great for vegans, with a menu of local organic sides and salads that changes weekly. Best fried chicken I’ve ever had. Get there before brunch (9am) or dinner (5:30pm), or be prepared to wait.

Apizza Scholls (SE)

Slice ranked it as one of the top five pizzerias in America, and the #2 pizza on the West coast in their March Madness bracket. Just get there when they open, or be ready to saddle up with a couple beers and wait.

Pok Pok (SE)

2011 James Beard-winning chef Andy Ricker kicked off a culinary renaissance in Portland with his frontyard grill-turned-restaurant empire. Inspired by Thai street food, you won’t find chicken panang anywhere near Pok Pok’s eclectic, face-melting menu. While you wait, grab a drink at the Pok Pok-owned Whiskey Soda Lounge across the street. And try a drinking vinegar, you won’t regret it.

Grüner (SW)

Delicious Alpine cuisine, my favorite new restaurant in the downtown area. They also just opened Kask, their newly-opened casual bar adjacent to the restaurant.

Boke Bowl (SE)

My favorite ramen in Portland. Not traditional, but excellent, Boke Bowl started as a series of pop-up ramen events around town before establishing their own location. I highly recommend the steamed buns and the pork ramen w/fried chicken. Vegan and gluten-free ramen options are available and delicious.

Tanuki (SE)

The motto of this quirky Japanese/Korean-influenced izakaya is “No kids, no sushi,” but I’d also add “no groups larger than three, no vegetarians, no picky eaters, no prudes, no prima donnas.” Just get the omakase for $20/person, order some drinks, play some pinball, and enjoy. My favorite restaurant in Portland, and some of the best meals I’ve ever had. Just be willing to go with the flow, or you’ll get your ass banned for life.

Food Carts and Late-Night Dining

The food cart scene in Portland is ridiculously amazing, a food culture revolution with over 670 carts in 25 “pods” (groups of carts), some spanning full city blocks. They can be a little hit-or-miss, but there are some amazing gems to be found. New this year: carts serving beer.

Note: Voodoo Doughnuts is for tourists. Like Le Bistro Montage, Whiffies Fried Pies and Potato Champion, these late-night staples became famous with locals by being open when bars let out. They should only be consumed drunk. (And even then, you can do better.) Any other time, they’re just mediocre. Want great donuts? Try the new Blue Star Donuts, a 10-minute walk from Voodoo.

Pyro Pizza, Whiffies fried pie, and Potato Champion poutine, photo by Stacy Clinton

Nong’s Khao Man Gai (SW)

Bangkok-born Nong Poonsukwattana offers only one item on her menu — khao man gai, a uniquely Thai street dish made from poached chicken and rice and sauce. Arguably the best cart in Portland, located at the sprawling SW 9th and Alder cart pod, the largest in town spanning two blocks. Closed Sundays. (Too busy? Try the to-go shop in SE.)

Cartopia (SE, weekends until 3am)

This collection of carts on SE Hawthorne at 12th is more known for its late-night hours and raucous vibe than the quality of its food. But if you’re hungry after a late night of drinking, it’s definitely worth trying Pyro Pizza’s wood-fired oven-in-a-cart and the crepes from Perierra Creperie.

Mississippi Marketplace (SE)

Since the closure of SE Division’s D Street Noshery, this is probably the best-curated cart pod in the city. Highlights include Minizo (ramen), Miss Kate’s Southern Kitchen, The Big Egg (breakfast until 2pm), Koi Fusion (Korean-Mexican fusion), and Prickly Ash (Chinese flatbread sandwiches). On a nice day, grab your food and sit on Prost’s deck with some oversized Belgian beers.

Drinking

Portland’s a big beer town, home to more microbreweries than any city in the world, though the distillery and cocktail scene’s grown in recent years. Here are my picks for the absolute best.

Hair of the Dog Brewing, Photo by throgers

Hair of the Dog (SE)

This microbrewery is beer geek heaven, capturing five out of RateBeer’s top six Oregon beers. A perfect place to try some of Portland’s best beer, though their tasting room has quirky hours, open only from 2-8pm, Wednesday through Sunday.

APEX (SE)

50 great beers on tap and a massive patio. Grab some excellent Portland-style banh mi from Double Dragon across the street, and settle in. Cash only, but if you use their ATM and show the receipt, they’ll give you $1 off.

Bye & Bye/Sweet Hereafter (NE/SE)

The Bye & Bye on NE Alberta and the Sweet Hereafter, its newly-opened sister on SE Belmont, are distinctly Portland institutions — vegan bars with food that’s shockingly tasty even for die-hard omnivores like me (try the chili pie!). Great beer list, delicious and strong cocktails served in Mason jars, comfortable vibe, and plenty of seating make this a great meeting place.

Bailey’s Taproom (SW)

There isn’t much atmosphere here, but Bailey’s makes up for it with the most interesting taplist in Portland — 20 beers rotating daily, selected by mega-beer geeks.

Green Dragon (SE)

With 50 beers on tap and huge indoor/outdoor spaces, this place is great for meeting large groups of people. The food menu and taplist can be hit-or-miss, but there’s always a handful of great beers in the mix. If you’re feeling experimental, try Cascade Brewing across the street, one of the few breweries in the U.S. focused on sour ales.

Distillery Row (SE)

If you’re here on a weekend, take an hour to sample Portland’s craft distillery movement on foot, doing tastings from House Spirits and Eastside Distilling to New Deal and Vinn. If you can only choose one, New Deal’s the best deal, with eight excellent liquors for $5.

Townshend’s Tea House (NE)

There’s no shortage of phenomenal coffee in Portland. (Coava is my personal pick.) But I’m not a big coffee drinker so I tend to head to Townshend’s, the best tea in Portland. Their bubble tea is best in town, with a wide range of flavors and your pick of tapioca, aloe or fruit jellies.

Attractions

Ground Kontrol at night, photo by Incredible Ape

Ground Kontrol (NW)

World-class ’80s video arcade and pinball gallery that turns into a 21+ bar after 5pm. Absolutely essential geek visit.

Powell’s Technical Books (NW)

Everyone knows about Powell’s Books, but geeks may be more interested in Powell’s Technical, an essential resource for modern and vintage books on science, math, computers, and engineering. It recently relocated directly across the street from the flagship store.

Floating World Comics (NW)

Portland has some great comic shops, but for art/indie/experimental comic lovers, Floating World can’t be missed.

Counter Media (SW)

On the other side of Burnside from Powell’s, Counter Media is a wonderful bookstore carrying a carefully-curated collection of indie comics and graphic novels, with crazy fetish stuff in the back.

Billy Galaxy (SW)

Though often wildly overpriced, this is nostalgia heaven. Go buy that Burgertime lunchbox you’ve always wanted.

Want more?

Looking for late-night options? I did a big roundup of the city’s best, as of May 2013.

The recommendations from Eater’s Top Restaurants and Heatmaps are consistently solid.

Have a great time!

People deal with tragedy in different ways using the tools they have at their disposal. Painters paint, writers write, and gamers mod.

Lately, I’ve been interested in seeing how game modders and mappers have recreated the World Trade Center, the events of September 11, and the WTC Memorial in various game engines. Some of these are profane and offensive, quite likely made by teens that have no first-hand memory of the disaster, but most are intended as tributes. Here’s the best of what I was able to find.

Continue reading “Gamer Recreations of the World Trade Center” →

It’s easy to write off Heello as a Twitter clone. Created by the founder of Twitpic, the shameless knockoff looks and behaves like a stripped-down version of Twitter, down to the tweets pings, followers listeners, and retweets echos.

But it’s shaping up to be more than that. Creative fakesters are using the blank slate to turn Heello into the parallel-universe version of Twitter.

A world in which Heello was cofounded by Ev Williams (@ev), who acts as CEO and gives away free iPads to Heello users.

Where CNN Breaking News (@cnnbrk) reports all the news in ALL CAPS, including breaking news reports like “JUSTIN BIEBER” and “I JUST UNLOCKED THE ‘I’M ON A BOAT’ BADGE ON FOURSQUARE.”

A world where Mark Zuckerberg (@MarkZuckerberg) is a profane, sexist womanizer.

And where major web services (past and present) flirt and snark at each other, like @Tumblr, @Color, @4chan, and @Pownce.

Of course, Heello wouldn’t be complete without its own Social Media Experts. “Please Check Out My Blogpost ‘How To Drive Qualified Traffic To Your Blog Via Heello.'”

Heello is like a blank-slate Twitter with no moderation or verification. I doubt the Heello team wanted or expected this behavior, but they inadvertently created a perfect playground for parody and meta-commentary, like Uncyclopedia or Encyclopedia Dramatica‘s parallel world versions of Wikipedia.

It should be fun to see how they respond.

Update: Marshall Kirkpatrick, lead writer of ReadWriteWeb, comments, “They told me they were going to remove any of these that weren’t clearly satires. That’s a real shame and shows a lack of sense of humor.” The first casualty was @ev, which was deleted shortly after this post was published.

Marco Arment just linked to this great article about how everyone plays Monopoly wrong. If you read the actual rules, it’s a completely different game than the one you likely grew up with — one that moves much, much quicker.

Five things I never knew about Monopoly’s official rules:

1. If a player decides not to buy a property, it immediately goes up for auction by the bank and is sold to the highest bidder. This blew my mind.

2. Houses must be built, and sold, evenly across a color-group. For example, you can’t build three houses on Park Place without having two houses on Boardwalk first.

3. It’s the property owner’s responsibility to ask for rent. If you forget to ask for rent before the end of the next player’s turn, you’re out of luck.

4. Rent is doubled on properties without houses in a monopoly.

5. Income tax is calculated from your total net worth, including all properties and buildings, not just your cash. And you have to decide whether to pay 10% or $200 before you add it up.

While these official rules gradually disappeared from common play, other unofficial “house rules” came to take their place. We always put funds collected from Chance/Community Chest cards into a “kitty” that was given to whoever landed on Free Parking. Many others gave $400 when landed on “Go,” or didn’t allow rent to be collected while in jail.

Many of us learned Monopoly like we learned the rules of dodgeball or rock-scissors-paper — spread by word-of-mouth from family and friends.

It’s interesting to see a commercial game see the same sort of cultural variation as other children’s folk games.

But maybe that’s appropriate for a game that was itself derived from another board game. Contrary to popular belief, Charles Darrow didn’t invent Monopoly in 1933 from scratch. It was heavily based on The Landlord’s Game, an innovative board game patented in 1904 by Lizzie Magie, to be a “practical demonstration of the present system of land-grabbing with all its usual outcomes and consequences.”

The Landlord’s Game and its variations like “Auction Monopoly” and “The Fascinating Game of Finance” spread by word of mouth throughout the early-20th century with evolving rules and hand-drawn boards, popular among the Quakers and used as a teaching aid for university students.

In 1933, Charles Darrow played a homemade version of The Landlord’s Game printed on oil cloth, saw the market potential, and tried to patent the new “Monopoly” as his own. After finding great success selling handmade versions, he sold the rights to Parker Brothers. Parker Brothers bought Magie’s patent for $500 to have an undisputed claim to the board game, but was threatened by other popular competitors and homemade variations. Through a process of litigation, acquisition, and quiet settlements during the late-1930s, Parker Brothers wiped all the other derivative versions of The Landlord’s Game off the map.

By the 1970s, Parker Brothers’ revisionist history was canon — the official Monopoly rules and a 1974 book on the history of the game stated that the game was created solely by Charles Darrow.

So, when someone says you’re playing Monopoly wrong, tell them you’re playing your own version… just like Darrow did.

Because everything is a remix.

I’m a regular at Meat Cheese Bread, my favorite sandwich shop in Portland. Even though I’m sick and feel like hell, I ventured out to pick up a to-go order today, because their egg salad sandwich makes everything better. John, the owner, was working the counter.

Me: Can I make a suggestion?

John: Sure.

Me: You guys should make a sweet tea.

John (emphatically): No.

Me: Why?

John: Because it’s disgusting. I make all the iced tea myself. Simple syrup’s over there. If you want to ruin it, go ahead.

Some people would get turned off by this, others would be downright pissed. But this is exactly what I like in a business, and it’s why I eat there at least once a week.

John’s singular, uncompromising vision is why the food is so damned great. He’s not trying to make a restaurant that makes everyone happy; he built a place that he’d want to eat at, and if you don’t like it, piss off.

The same goes for the web. I’d rather use a service that has a strong, single-minded vision, even if some of the decisions aren’t exactly how I’d want them, than a washed-out, milquetoast service created by committee, designed to meet market demand, that tries to make everybody happy.

Another way to put it: if someone out there doesn’t hate your product, it’s probably not worth using.