August

The official Steve Martin website has a very active web-based message board where fans of Steve can talk about everything from The Jerk to Novocaine. Poke around for a while, and you’ll undoubtedly run into “Chocolate Lover”: the alias of Texas-based painter Lynn O’Neill.

Most of Chocolate Lover’s 1200+ posts are about her innocent crush on Steve Martin and her love of his work, but her recent posts are far more personal.

On August 20, she writes about a thank-you card she received from Steve. On August 22, she said her greatest fears are “being mistaken for a lunatic,” “annoying the people I care about,” and “failing.”

On August 27, the tone of her posts changed, appealing to Steve Martin directly (although he doesn’t appear to ever read or post). She starts posting very personal information, followed by painful and desperate pleas. “I don’t know why you’ve turned on me.” “I am not a liar.” “I have NEVER been hurt so badly.” “Steve I am for real. Why are you doing this? … I feel like I am dying.”

Her last two messages are the worst. This thread gets continually worse, as she posts several times throughout the night, begging Steve to call her. At around 1am Dallas time, she posts a final goodbye… “I hope Steve doesn’t change his PO Box out of fear of me, I really am harmless, just a little weird. I’m going to the doctor because I don’t want to feel anything for a while, but I will not return after that.” She hasn’t posted anything since.

Just launched in the UK, Shazam is a search engine that plays “Name That Tune.” Cell phone owners dial a number and play a 15-second song clip (presumably from the radio or a club) into the phone’s receiver. After comparing a hash of the clip against their database of 1.2 million songs, Shazam returns their best guess via SMS text message.

The audio recognition algorithm was developed by chief scientist and co-founder Avery Wang. His 1994 thesis on sound separation is available for download, which provides some clues into how they may be extracting music from voice and other background noise. (More information about the service from the BBC, The Guardian, and Red Herring.)

How long before someone (Google, maybe) creates a web-based version that allows you to upload sound clips for identification? And contribute properly-tagged MP3s from your own collection? A truly comprehensive database of music would help people like Alan Taylor and all these other poor souls.

Only two more weeks until California Extreme, the world’s largest classic arcade game convention! For one weekend every September, the San Jose Convention Center is transformed into 18,000 square feet of pure classic arcade and pinball goodness (big panoramic photo). The games are all on free play, the hall is dimly-lit, and the air is thick with nostalgia.

Last year, the show took place less a week after September 11, so the turnout was smaller than expected, but still bigger and better than the previous year. (See the full list of games from 2001.) This year should be the best yet.

The only problem is that I’m forced to choose between California Extreme on September 7/8 and Fray Day 6 the week after. (Not enough vacation days left to see both, sadly.)

If things have been quiet around here lately, it’s because all my free time has gone to the Gettingit.com redesign. This is the perfect exercise in pointlessness: redesigning a defunct, three-year-old webzine that hasn’t published an article since 2000.

Well, not entirely pointless. Webpower, the company that funded Gettingit, finally killed the old story database a couple weeks ago, leaving the entire archive offline. I’d foreseen that inevitability a while back, and whipped up a Perl script to crawl the old site and save the stories locally. I’m glad I did.

Take a look and let me know what you think. Built in a couple weeks with no budget and PHP/MySQL/Apache by my side, I’m proud of it. I did everything except for the monkey logos, which were provided by the extremely talented Goopy.

Set your TiVos: HBO, Monday morning, 4:20am. Leprechaun in the Hood (2000, Horror). An evil leprechaun and a powerful producer pursue three rap artists who stole a magic flute. Features Ice-T, Coolio, and Ensign Travis Mayweather. Not to mention, Willow Ufgood rapping a song entitled “Lep in the Hood” over the end credits (sound clip).

Unethical idea of the day: Write a web crawler that grabs the list of recently updated MovableType or Blogger weblogs, and posts a spam comment to every weblog entry. Sound too far-fetched? Maybe not; a porn site recently spammed Andrew Burke’s weblog. I’m sure it won’t be long before someone automates the process and ruins online community forever. (Or at least until someone writes a SpamAssassin plugin for weblogs.)

There are several outlets for extremely obsessive fans to vent their creativity, including fan fiction, fan art, and slash. Or you can follow the lead of these fans of the Dark Shadows series, and start re-enacting roles and episodes online in real-time chat.

Meeting regularly in an AOL chat room, they pick an episode or a setting, take on the roles of the show’s characters, and improv the dialogue. If that’s too mainstream for you, try combining two TV universes… Like, say, Dark Shadows meets Scooby Doo, Where Are You?

Congratulations to my good friend, Crazy Uncle Joe Utsler, for successfully impregnating his wife. Nice work, stud!