Some time in 1995, a year or so after I had embraced the Web, I slowly lost interest in local BBSes completely. This January 1995 file list (518 KB text) comes from the Cajun’s Corner BBS in Ventura, California; probably the last warez board in the 805 area code. I used to save the file lists for offline browsing. This was the last I ever downloaded.

Among the “Elite” files are Ecstatica, System Shock, and the September 1994 build of the Chicago beta 1 (later dubbed Windows 95).

Funny… Every file uploaded to the BBS, including those that stayed offline on tape backups, would have fit on a measly three gig drive. (If you’re interesting in playing any of the games on that list, try the Underdogs.)

This is the best optical illusion ever. The squares marked A and B are the same shade of gray. I had to open it in Photoshop to prove it to myself, but it’s true. (Update: For those non-believers without Photoshop, try these animated or static proofs.)

These photo galleries (1, 2) of balloon-animal enthusiasts (or “twisters”) and their creations are freakishly cool. I never would have guessed that a global balloon-animal community existed, but popular balloonicature events like the Belgian Millennium Jam, German EuroJam and Texan TJam prove otherwise.

Plus, balloon porn and a balloon toilet.

I just noticed that former G.E. CEO Jack Welch and Springfield Nuclear Power Plant CEO Montgomery Burns are currently neighbors on Yahoo’s Most Popular News, both in the classic evil-CEO pose. Here’s the screenshot, archived for posterity. Excellent!

If you live in San Francisco, do yourself a favor and drop by 826 Valencia, between 18th and 19th in the Mission. Founded by Dave Eggers, the project is part tutoring workshop and part pirate-themed store. Like David Byrne says, “Definitely one of the top five pirate stores I’ve been to recently.”

They’re currently displaying an exhibit by the Mekons, a mural by Chris Ware, and original proofs by some of today’s best writers.

Plus, they have almost every issue of Might Magazine for sale in pristine condition, for only $10 each! I now own a full print run of the magazine, including extra copies of their debut issue. If you’re a McSweeney’s fan, they have back issues, t-shirts, and various McSweeney’s books signed by their authors. Plus, my friend Mat volunteers there. It’s a neat place.

On a whim, I decided to search the California Unclaimed Property database to see if I had any unclaimed money waiting around for me. I didn’t, but my mother and grandmother both had standing claims, totalling over $175! Free money!

Take a minute to search for the names of your friends and family in your state’s online database, and let me know if you find anything. Just look up your state, visit the government website, type in a last name, and grab that cash. Happy hunting.

One week and 257 spam e-mails later, we’re back home from the trek to San Francisco and other points north. More on the rest of the trip later, but first: California Extreme!

This year, I played some older obscure games that were underappreciated in their day, along with some old favorites. Get your copy of MAME ready and try out these obscure gems, hosted here for your convenience: Rescue, Q*Bert’s Qubes, Pooyan, and Make Trax.

Like last year, there was an entire section devoted to old laserdisc games. Most of these full-motion-video games were pretty terrible — all style and no substance — but one game fails miserably on both counts: Gallagher’s Gallery, starring the inventor of the Sledge-O-Matic. If you can find a more irritating game, I’ll be impressed.

For a taste of the rest of the event, a selection of photos are available from the night before and Saturday afternoon. (I’ll add links to others as they appear.)

America chooses Kelly Clarkson, but Sideshow Justin has other plans…

Every form of media is pirated online. Music, movies, software, console video games, television, music videos, and books are all routinely traded via FTP sites, IRC, the Web, and Usenet. So what’s left? Not much, as it turns out.

One exception is periodicals; magazines and newspapers are cheap, published regularly, and unbelievably tedious to scan manually. Full issues of Playboy are traded in niche online communities, but so far, general interest magazines have evaded the pirate community. Until now.

“Enigma of Esoteric Nothingness,” a new group of scanner junkies, has dedicated themselves to the task of scanning in monthly periodicals (in addition to their regular e-book output) and distributing the PDFs (usually around 20 MB each). They haven’t made much of a dent in the local newsstand… So far, just a few issues of PC Magazine, 2600, Time, Mad, and Scientific American. But it’s a start. Take a look at their bundled .NFO (information) files for the June issues of Mad Magazine and Scientific American, and this Usenet post that details all the books/magazines they’ve scanned, as of late July.

The official Steve Martin website has a very active web-based message board where fans of Steve can talk about everything from The Jerk to Novocaine. Poke around for a while, and you’ll undoubtedly run into “Chocolate Lover”: the alias of Texas-based painter Lynn O’Neill.

Most of Chocolate Lover’s 1200+ posts are about her innocent crush on Steve Martin and her love of his work, but her recent posts are far more personal.

On August 20, she writes about a thank-you card she received from Steve. On August 22, she said her greatest fears are “being mistaken for a lunatic,” “annoying the people I care about,” and “failing.”

On August 27, the tone of her posts changed, appealing to Steve Martin directly (although he doesn’t appear to ever read or post). She starts posting very personal information, followed by painful and desperate pleas. “I don’t know why you’ve turned on me.” “I am not a liar.” “I have NEVER been hurt so badly.” “Steve I am for real. Why are you doing this? … I feel like I am dying.”

Her last two messages are the worst. This thread gets continually worse, as she posts several times throughout the night, begging Steve to call her. At around 1am Dallas time, she posts a final goodbye… “I hope Steve doesn’t change his PO Box out of fear of me, I really am harmless, just a little weird. I’m going to the doctor because I don’t want to feel anything for a while, but I will not return after that.” She hasn’t posted anything since.