January

For my job, I recently researched and reviewed almost every major web log analyzer on the market. Almost every package provided the same basic level of detail, summaries of daily/monthly/weekly usage and aggregate statistics.

But we needed more detail. Much more detail. We wanted to track the paths of any user (authenticated or not) through the site, to see which pages they looked at, in which order, and for how long. We wanted to drill down to any time period, seeing who visited the site during that period and what they were looking for. Here’s what I found…

I’m mentioned in the New York Times for the second time this month, this time in an article from Thursday’s Circuits section that covers my Lost Friends page, with a couple relevant quotes from me. Honestly, I’m not a media whore; they contacted me. (Thanks for the head’s up, Paul.)

You might remember the author’s last column, the first offline mention of Matt Haughey’s Ticketstubs project. The “Everyone I’ve Ever Known” site in the current column was the subject of a Metafilter thread a few weeks ago, and her other columns have also covered subjects that were first posted to Metafilter. Do you have an account there, Pamela?

“It all started at eleven years old, when the two hundredth Caucasion lady leaned over the back of the church pew and said, ‘young man, you sound just like Neil Diamond’. Unbeknownst to me, it was at that moment the Black Diamond show was born!”

He may truly be the whitest black man in America. Don’t miss the MP3s.

Interview with Andre Torrez, nominee for the 2003 Most Humorous Weblog award:

waxpancake: Hey, Bloggie Boy.

waxpancake: Say something funny!

torrez: Um, I think I have crone's disease.

waxpancake: HAHAHAHAHAHA

torrez: :(

torrez: i can't poop anymore

waxpancake: HAHAHA

torrez: it's not funny

torrez: heh

waxpancake: You crack me up!

torrez: guess what I'm doing?

waxpancake: "crone's disease"!

waxpancake: I don't know, dying of constipation?

waxpancake: HAHAHA

waxpancake: Maybe your bowels will explode!

torrez: :(

torrez: it hurts

Here are the scans of the Mickey comic in the Boston Globe and New York Times.

The journalist at the Boston Globe had interviewed me for quotes to accompany my comic in today’s issue, but only four words of the interview made the cut. I’ve included the entire interview here, so you can get some insight into my opinions about the Eldred v. Ashcroft case and my motivation for making the comic…

Eric Eldred lost, and we all lose with him. This makes Mickey Mouse mad (90k JPG).

Note: The source image comes from issue #103 of Gold Key Mickey Mouse, a Disney comic book from October 1965. It was posted to Usenet in alt.binaries.pictures.comics.reposts: unavailable print media, scanned and permanently archived by and for comic book enthusiasts. And, thanks to our brutal copyright law, entirely illegal.

Update: The New York Times is publishing my cartoon in this Saturday’s “Arts & Ideas” section and the Boston Globe is running it in the “Ideas” section of their Sunday edition, along with (possibly) a brief interview. Hello, literate people of the East Coast!

There’s something joyful and endearing about watching contestants win at The Price Is Right, again and again and again. My favorite is Daniel, by far. (RealPlayer required for all clips.)

My prediction: Apple is slowly working towards phasing out Microsoft products entirely, and natively supporting Windows applications in a Mac environment.

1. With the release of their own alternative to Internet Explorer and Powerpoint (Safari and Keynote, respectively), Apple seems to be slowly phasing out their reliance on Microsoft applications.

2. WINE and CodeWeavers’ CrossOver Office let Linux users run Windows applications natively, without requiring Windows (or a Windows emulator) to be installed (screenshot). Unfortunately, both applications require an x86 processor.

Apple is built on Unix and now natively supports X11. If they were smart, they’d be working on porting WINE over to PowerPC processors right now. OS X would be the only operating system capable of natively running Macintosh, Unix/X11, and Windows applications simultaneously.

If someone’s already working on something like this, let me know about it.

I’ve been under an NDA for the last couple of months, so I couldn’t reveal anything about There.com, the mysterious startup that I started investigating back in May. Well, There.com launched its public beta.

In short, I pegged it with my original prediction: “like Habbo Hotel meets Everquest.” It’s a 3D chat environment, where people can interact with one another, explore the game universe, and spend real-world money on character upgrades and in-world items. Thanks to David Weekly for getting me involved with the project.

Eleanor White wants to know, “Do you think you are targetted by neuro-electromagnetic technology?” For more evidence of this massive government conspiracy, don’t miss the sabotage photos. “The armpits and crotches of my clothing are frequent targets of perp saboteurs.”

If that’s not enough proof, her homepage provides more of her research into the MKULTRA and COINTELPRO thought-control experiments that have harassed innocent and involuntary citizens since the 1950s.

Thanks to the Internet, the truth can finally be told! (Thanks, lcbo.)

I just received an e-mail from Mahir “I KISS YOU” Cagri, in response to a pitch that former Gettingit.com editor Mat Honan sent to him on December 8, 1999! Better late than never, right? He must have a huge backlog of mail… Here’s the e-mail:

From: "Mahir" <[email protected]>
To: "Mat Honan"
Subject: Hii
Date: Mon, 6 Jan 2003 00:10:41 +0200

Hii ,I kisss uuu !!!

How are you ?

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Love & Share for Peace

www.ikissyou.org

with my love

Who can Know may be we can meet this year!!I go many country my fans home and see around take pic together add my site,who invite me and send ticket.. I join free all kids-green-animal-poor -love -peace organizations too all world .I go many schools for lecture about my life and internet