Every form of media is pirated online. Music, movies, software, console video games, television, music videos, and books are all routinely traded via FTP sites, IRC, the Web, and Usenet. So what’s left? Not much, as it turns out.

One exception is periodicals; magazines and newspapers are cheap, published regularly, and unbelievably tedious to scan manually. Full issues of Playboy are traded in niche online communities, but so far, general interest magazines have evaded the pirate community. Until now.

“Enigma of Esoteric Nothingness,” a new group of scanner junkies, has dedicated themselves to the task of scanning in monthly periodicals (in addition to their regular e-book output) and distributing the PDFs (usually around 20 MB each). They haven’t made much of a dent in the local newsstand… So far, just a few issues of PC Magazine, 2600, Time, Mad, and Scientific American. But it’s a start. Take a look at their bundled .NFO (information) files for the June issues of Mad Magazine and Scientific American, and this Usenet post that details all the books/magazines they’ve scanned, as of late July.

America chooses Kelly Clarkson, but Sideshow Justin has other plans…

One week and 257 spam e-mails later, we’re back home from the trek to San Francisco and other points north. More on the rest of the trip later, but first: California Extreme!

This year, I played some older obscure games that were underappreciated in their day, along with some old favorites. Get your copy of MAME ready and try out these obscure gems, hosted here for your convenience: Rescue, Q*Bert’s Qubes, Pooyan, and Make Trax.

Like last year, there was an entire section devoted to old laserdisc games. Most of these full-motion-video games were pretty terrible — all style and no substance — but one game fails miserably on both counts: Gallagher’s Gallery, starring the inventor of the Sledge-O-Matic. If you can find a more irritating game, I’ll be impressed.

For a taste of the rest of the event, a selection of photos are available from the night before and Saturday afternoon. (I’ll add links to others as they appear.)

Continue reading “2002 California Extreme Roundup” →

On a whim, I decided to search the California Unclaimed Property database to see if I had any unclaimed money waiting around for me. I didn’t, but my mother and grandmother both had standing claims, totalling over $175! Free money!

Take a minute to search for the names of your friends and family in your state’s online database, and let me know if you find anything. Just look up your state, visit the government website, type in a last name, and grab that cash. Happy hunting.

If you live in San Francisco, do yourself a favor and drop by 826 Valencia, between 18th and 19th in the Mission. Founded by Dave Eggers, the project is part tutoring workshop and part pirate-themed store. Like David Byrne says, “Definitely one of the top five pirate stores I’ve been to recently.”

They’re currently displaying an exhibit by the Mekons, a mural by Chris Ware, and original proofs by some of today’s best writers.

Plus, they have almost every issue of Might Magazine for sale in pristine condition, for only $10 each! I now own a full print run of the magazine, including extra copies of their debut issue. If you’re a McSweeney’s fan, they have back issues, t-shirts, and various McSweeney’s books signed by their authors. Plus, my friend Mat volunteers there. It’s a neat place.

I just noticed that former G.E. CEO Jack Welch and Springfield Nuclear Power Plant CEO Montgomery Burns are currently neighbors on Yahoo’s Most Popular News, both in the classic evil-CEO pose. Here’s the screenshot, archived for posterity. Excellent!

These photo galleries (1, 2) of balloon-animal enthusiasts (or “twisters”) and their creations are freakishly cool. I never would have guessed that a global balloon-animal community existed, but popular balloonicature events like the Belgian Millennium Jam, German EuroJam and Texan TJam prove otherwise.

Plus, balloon porn and a balloon toilet.

This is the best optical illusion ever. The squares marked A and B are the same shade of gray. I had to open it in Photoshop to prove it to myself, but it’s true. (Update: For those non-believers without Photoshop, try these animated or static proofs.)

Some time in 1995, a year or so after I had embraced the Web, I slowly lost interest in local BBSes completely. This January 1995 file list (518 KB text) comes from the Cajun’s Corner BBS in Ventura, California; probably the last warez board in the 805 area code. I used to save the file lists for offline browsing. This was the last I ever downloaded.

Among the “Elite” files are Ecstatica, System Shock, and the September 1994 build of the Chicago beta 1 (later dubbed Windows 95).

Funny… Every file uploaded to the BBS, including those that stayed offline on tape backups, would have fit on a measly three gig drive. (If you’re interesting in playing any of the games on that list, try the Underdogs.)

From this unusual page about the Simpsons in Thailand, check out the three censored screen grabs of Patty and Selma. In addition to banning smoking in most public places, the Thailand government mandated a ban on depictions of smoking on television. Still, California is stricter on one count: you can smoke in bars and nightclubs in Thailand. (Found while searching for this Simpsons sound clip.)

The most compelling functionality of Linux over Windows, by far, is virtual desktop support. (For those unfamilar on the concept, it’s the ability to create multiple desktops with different windows on each.) When in Linux, I can keep separate desktops dedicated to e-mail, web surfing, and programming, and switch between them immediately.

Window managers for the Linux-based Gnome and KDE display thumbnails of the desktops, let you drag windows across desktops, and allow you to switch between desktops using either hotkeys or by moving the mouse across screen borders. As it turns out, only one of the 20+ third-party Windows utilities supports all of these features: Enable Virtual Desktop. Try to ignore the awful web design, and just download it. It costs $19.95 to register, but it’s worth it if you’re a Linux expatriate.

Or you could wait until Microsoft implements virtual desktops in Windows natively, which is right around the corner if these Windows Longhorn beta screenshots are to be believed (1, 2).

We recently launched a new website at work, and an accompanying research library. It doesn’t validate yet, but I’m proud of it. Not just because of the clean design and improved usability, but because of the extremely powerful software that powers it: a practically-unknown content-management system called Bricolage. Update: eWeek published a glowing review of Bricolage.

Continue reading “Content-Management with Bricolage” →

Record label EMI is hiring a vice president for their Anti-Piracy division. (“P-P sharing”? Is that anything like watersports?) Via the Pho discussion list. Update: Anil points to a CTO job listing for Warner Music in New York, that “challenges current technology selection and rational” and evaluates “P2P warfare.” This means war!

If you’ve recovered from Thursday night’s Halloween celebrations (we’ll be at the West Hollywood block party), check out Friday evening’s Memefest at the C-Level media space in L.A.’s Chinatown district.

The conference/screening is focused on Internet fads and how/why they propagate, one of my favorite subjects. My close personal friend, freelance writer Dave Cassel of Destinyland and Gettingit, will be presenting along with several other net/art geeks. (I was originally scheduled to speak, but had to back out at the last minute because of prior obligations.) The C-Level guys are very entertaining, so you have my personal guarantee that it won’t suck.

For those that don’t live in Los Angeles, it’s Ambiguously Gay Satan!

Wired published an article about tonight’s Memefest event, and mentions that Jeff Hermann will be bringing along his playable 3-foot-tall, 100 pound Gameboy. Take a look at the Game Man photo gallery for more.

I updated my Dictionary Domain page, which lists all the remaining available .com, .org and .net domains named after dictionary words.

Domain squatters seem to be releasing plenty of great .org domains. Browsing the list of domains released in the last three months, you can find some gems in the .org namespace (at the bottom of the list). Some that caught my eye: gummy.org, soapy.org (for a SOAP site?), taunt.org, betcha.org (Long Bets, maybe?), desist.org (a cease-and-desist watchdog site?), dimwit.org, redial.org, lowbrow.org, shuteye.org, and upcoming.org. Leave a comment if you register any of them.

In Bangkok, “Waxy” apparently means “leather-clad briefcase cowboy.”

The new version of the MAME arcade emulator plays several popular games from the modern era (post-1995) of arcade gaming: Area 51, Cruis’n USA, Cruis’n World, Vicious Circle and Maximum Force. The catch? The Area 51, Vicious Circle and Maximum Force ROM files are over 520 megs each, and Cruis’n USA requires a 4Ghz+ CPU to run at full speed. (In other words, you’ll need a computer that runs at nearly twice the speed of today’s high-end desktop PCs.)

Back in the 1980s, a few thousand devoted followers of a religious sect called the Church Universal and Triumphant relocated to a 32,000 acre Montana ranch and began preparing for the Apocalypse. Claire Prophet, their aptly-named leader, predicted a devastating Soviet missile attack on the United States set for April 23, 1990. Responding to these doomsday visions, the sect began stockpiling weapons and creating fallout shelters to survive the attacks. (The church still lives on, albeit in a mainstream form.)

Audio recordings from internal church services surfaced sometime during the late-1980s and were released on Faithway International’s Sounds of American Doomsday Cults Volume 14. Unfortunately, the album’s out of print and unavailable through Aquarius Records, but I have several of the tracks in MP3 format (thanks Daryl).

The highlight of the batch is the Invocation For Judgement Against And Destruction of Rock Music (3 MB MP3), a three-minute roster of ’80s rock and pop stars sentenced to eternal damnation for various crimes against God. You might recognize it from Negativland’s “Michael Jackson” off of Escape from Noise, which samples it heavily. Follow the weirdness with this partial transcript.

Continue reading “Doomsday Cult Destroys 1980s Rock” →

Does the cover of Joe Clark’s new book remind you of anything? (Hint, hint.)

I temporarily disabled my firewall today and received this piece of Windows messenger spam: “Stop these annoying messenger ads for FREE and FOREVER! Open your web browser and go to www.FightSpamWithSpam.com.”

It makes sense, I suppose. I’ve seen popup-killer applications advertised in popup windows and e-mail spam filtering software advertised in spam e-mail, so this is the new equivalent. Meta-spam is a simple way to target their demographic, and who cares if it’s evil?

Still, you have to give them credit for their technique; after showing you how to turn off Messenger services yourself, they beg for donations to fund their spamming efforts. (Grrr.)

This L.A. Craig’s List job listing seeks a professional liar: someone to pretend to be multiple users on a bulletin board, to simulate an active and thriving online community.

“However, these characters must maintain a strong presence on the board so other members feel as if they are genuinely part of their community, thus, creating more activity on the board.”

Someone out there doesn’t quite get it.

For its high wax content, I recommend Jack Handey’s My Best List For 2001.

Continue reading “The National Wax Association” →

After I learn how to binary finger count, I’ll give my friends a high 11111 and flip my enemies the 00101.

When compiling a top 10 list, there’s a big difference between “Best” and “Favorite.” Usually, “Best” implies some sort of objectivity. If I was compiling a Best Albums list, I’d probably include some influential and innovative albums that I never listen to anymore, like the new Wilco or the White Stripes. Instead, 10 albums I genuinely enjoy that have rarely left my MP3 playlist:

Favorite 10 Albums of 2002

Ben Kweller, Sha Sha

Bill Frisell, The Willies

Destroyer, This Night

Dixie Chicks, Home (*)

Mates of State, Our Constant Concern

Mirah, Advisory Committee

Norah Jones, Come Away with Me

Songs: Ohia, Didn’t It Rain

Spoon, Kill The Moonlight

Tori Amos, Scarlet’s Walk

Other Top Album lists for 2002

KALX DJs, CMJ writers and community, Aquarius Records, Spin, Time, Entertainment Weekly, Pitchfork, The Onion AV Club, KCRW, TinyMixTapes, Amazon, Rolling Stone, and Uncut.

If you know of any more, please add them below.

Continue reading “Top 10 Albums for 2002” →

I miss “Under Construction” images, those hackneyed construction-themed graphics that seemed to be on every amateur webpage between 1994 and 1996. They were redundant (i.e. the entire Web is always under construction), ugly, and often animated. And then, somewhere around 1997, they went away.

Fortunately, it looks like a few die-hard “designers” are still pushing the envelope in Under Construction technology. For example, rendered animated GIFs and post-modern infographics. And if you can’t innovate, just super-size it! Like this Russian Greek collage, clip art carpenter, or yellow wallpaper.

And finally, a full screen Flash animation. What, no Under Construction Java applets or ActiveX controls?

Forever A Kid makes “innovative custom clothing at the best value for the Adult Baby (AB), Big Baby, Infantilist, Diaper Lover (DL) and Juvenile Adult market.” Don’t miss the photo gallery, where you can see the models show off their dresses, diapers and pajamas in giant homemade cribs.

I admit, I used to have a pair of big red pajamas with white sock feet. But I wore them because they were warm and fuzzy; not because they turned me on.

I’d love to surf the web and code from my couch, but I don’t want to pay for an expensive wireless laptop comparable to my desktop PC or maintain two parallel sets of data and applications. So here’s an idea: dumb terminal laptops that act as wireless clients to a central desktop server.

The laptop could be completely barebones, requiring only a mouse, keyboard, display and a wireless connection. All applications and processing would be run on the server, similar to Windows Terminal Services or VNC. Without the need for a powerful CPU, hard drive or unnecessary peripherals, a simple laptop appliance could be marketed for $300 (or less). Or cheaper, if you rig your own setup using an old laptop. Does anyone know if an off-the-shelf product like this is already available?

Update: As mentioned in the comments, Microsoft’s Smart Display does exactly that. Here’s a new review from the NYT.

I got a 20 GB iPod for Christmas and it’s almost perfect. I just have a couple changes…

This mockup outlines a few improvements that don’t unnecessarily complicate the interface, while adding some new functionality: jumping to the main menu, navigating next/previous albums, and switching between shuffle and normal play. Basically, holding down the new modifier (or “Option”) button changes the way the normal buttons respond.

In lieu of physically altering the iPod to add a new button, the center circle button could act as the Option button. With a simple firmware update, the iPod would be far more useful for power users, while maintaining the same interface for everyone else.

The RIAA foolishly left the content management administration page for their homepage open to the public: anyone can add a new press release here (update: cached copy). The real-time edits are reflected immediately on their homepage. (Old entries are archived on their press releases page. Possibly not safe for work, depending on what’s been recently posted.)

You heard it here first. Don’t expect this to stay up for long. Update: They took their site down. You can use the cached pages in the comments to view the original pages, or view Jason Kottke’s screenshots of the hacked pages. (Thanks to Phil for the tip.)

I just received an e-mail from Mahir “I KISS YOU” Cagri, in response to a pitch that former Gettingit.com editor Mat Honan sent to him on December 8, 1999! Better late than never, right? He must have a huge backlog of mail… Here’s the e-mail:

From: "Mahir" <[email protected]>
To: "Mat Honan"
Subject: Hii
Date: Mon, 6 Jan 2003 00:10:41 +0200

Hii ,I kisss uuu !!!

How are you ?

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Love & Share for Peace

www.ikissyou.org

with my love

Who can Know may be we can meet this year!!I go many country my fans home and see around take pic together add my site,who invite me and send ticket.. I join free all kids-green-animal-poor -love -peace organizations too all world .I go many schools for lecture about my life and internet

Eleanor White wants to know, “Do you think you are targetted by neuro-electromagnetic technology?” For more evidence of this massive government conspiracy, don’t miss the sabotage photos. “The armpits and crotches of my clothing are frequent targets of perp saboteurs.”

If that’s not enough proof, her homepage provides more of her research into the MKULTRA and COINTELPRO thought-control experiments that have harassed innocent and involuntary citizens since the 1950s.

Thanks to the Internet, the truth can finally be told! (Thanks, lcbo.)

I’ve been under an NDA for the last couple of months, so I couldn’t reveal anything about There.com, the mysterious startup that I started investigating back in May. Well, There.com launched its public beta.

In short, I pegged it with my original prediction: “like Habbo Hotel meets Everquest.” It’s a 3D chat environment, where people can interact with one another, explore the game universe, and spend real-world money on character upgrades and in-world items. Thanks to David Weekly for getting me involved with the project.

My prediction: Apple is slowly working towards phasing out Microsoft products entirely, and natively supporting Windows applications in a Mac environment.

1. With the release of their own alternative to Internet Explorer and Powerpoint (Safari and Keynote, respectively), Apple seems to be slowly phasing out their reliance on Microsoft applications.

2. WINE and CodeWeavers’ CrossOver Office let Linux users run Windows applications natively, without requiring Windows (or a Windows emulator) to be installed (screenshot). Unfortunately, both applications require an x86 processor.

Apple is built on Unix and now natively supports X11. If they were smart, they’d be working on porting WINE over to PowerPC processors right now. OS X would be the only operating system capable of natively running Macintosh, Unix/X11, and Windows applications simultaneously.

If someone’s already working on something like this, let me know about it.

There’s something joyful and endearing about watching contestants win at The Price Is Right, again and again and again. My favorite is Daniel, by far. (RealPlayer required for all clips.)

Eric Eldred lost, and we all lose with him. This makes Mickey Mouse mad (90k JPG).

Note: The source image comes from issue #103 of Gold Key Mickey Mouse, a Disney comic book from October 1965. It was posted to Usenet in alt.binaries.pictures.comics.reposts: unavailable print media, scanned and permanently archived by and for comic book enthusiasts. And, thanks to our brutal copyright law, entirely illegal.

Update: The New York Times is publishing my cartoon in this Saturday’s “Arts & Ideas” section and the Boston Globe is running it in the “Ideas” section of their Sunday edition, along with (possibly) a brief interview. Hello, literate people of the East Coast!

Here are the scans of the Mickey comic in the Boston Globe and New York Times.

The journalist at the Boston Globe had interviewed me for quotes to accompany my comic in today’s issue, but only four words of the interview made the cut. I’ve included the entire interview here, so you can get some insight into my opinions about the Eldred v. Ashcroft case and my motivation for making the comic…

Continue reading “Boston Globe Interview” →

Interview with Andre Torrez, nominee for the 2003 Most Humorous Weblog award:

waxpancake: Hey, Bloggie Boy.

waxpancake: Say something funny!

torrez: Um, I think I have crone's disease.

waxpancake: HAHAHAHAHAHA

torrez: :(

torrez: i can't poop anymore

waxpancake: HAHAHA

torrez: it's not funny

torrez: heh

waxpancake: You crack me up!

torrez: guess what I'm doing?

waxpancake: "crone's disease"!

waxpancake: I don't know, dying of constipation?

waxpancake: HAHAHA

waxpancake: Maybe your bowels will explode!

torrez: :(

torrez: it hurts

“It all started at eleven years old, when the two hundredth Caucasion lady leaned over the back of the church pew and said, ‘young man, you sound just like Neil Diamond’. Unbeknownst to me, it was at that moment the Black Diamond show was born!”

He may truly be the whitest black man in America. Don’t miss the MP3s.

I’m mentioned in the New York Times for the second time this month, this time in an article from Thursday’s Circuits section that covers my Lost Friends page, with a couple relevant quotes from me. Honestly, I’m not a media whore; they contacted me. (Thanks for the head’s up, Paul.)

You might remember the author’s last column, the first offline mention of Matt Haughey’s Ticketstubs project. The “Everyone I’ve Ever Known” site in the current column was the subject of a Metafilter thread a few weeks ago, and her other columns have also covered subjects that were first posted to Metafilter. Do you have an account there, Pamela?

For my job, I recently researched and reviewed almost every major web log analyzer on the market. Almost every package provided the same basic level of detail, summaries of daily/monthly/weekly usage and aggregate statistics.

But we needed more detail. Much more detail. We wanted to track the paths of any user (authenticated or not) through the site, to see which pages they looked at, in which order, and for how long. We wanted to drill down to any time period, seeing who visited the site during that period and what they were looking for. Here’s what I found…

Continue reading “Sawmill Log Analyzer” →

This Washington Post article, published 32 minutes before mission control lost contact with the Space Shuttle Columbia, offers a sad glimpse into a parallel ending to today’s disaster (via Mefi).

“We’ve taken all reasonable measures, and all of our landings so far since 9-11 have gone perfectly,” said Lt. Col. Michael Rein, an Air Force spokesman. …

Some of Columbia’s crew members didn’t want their time in space to end.

“Do we really have to come back?” astronaut David Brown jokingly asked Mission Control before the ride home.

NASA’s next shuttle flight, a space station construction mission, is scheduled for March. The next time Columbia flies will be in November, when it carries into orbit educator-astronaut Barbara Morgan, who was the backup for Challenger crew member Christa McAuliffe in 1986.

The Audioscrobbler plugin for Winamp/XMMS aggregates listening habits by tracking the artists/songs you’ve listened to, and comparing that information with all of the other users in the database. If this catches on, a system like this would be a really effective way to discover new artists and find people with similar tastes. (My personal stats.)

A simple idea, but brilliant. (Thanks, Cameron.)

Update: Audioscrobbler’s service provider took the site offline because of increased bandwidth usage. The site’s creator is looking for a new host.

You might remember the sad story of Richard Goddard Jr. and David Winkleman, the stepfather/stepson that sued an Iowa radio station for failing to pay them each $125,000 to permanently tattoo the station’s logo on their foreheads (photo!).

According to a new article, Richard Goddard Jr.’s problems didn’t end with the unfortunate tattoo. Unable to find a job because of his tattoo and a history of legal trouble, Goddard was “really upset,” his grandmother said.

After several weeks of hearing him complain, his roommates at the Kershaw Trailer Park did something about it. They tried to kill him; first by hanging, then by beating his face with a ball-peen hammer.

Continue reading “The $125,000 Tattoo” →

Matthew Ostrowski tacks MP3 headers onto random files, listening for interesting patterns in the raw data. According to Matthew’s friend, super-librarian Brewster Kahle, he found that .exe files sounded more interesting that plain .txt or .doc documents. So, courtesy of the Internet Archive and Etree.org, here’s Microsoft’s Word.exe file as an MP3.

Not easy listening, by any means, but a strange comfort to anyone waxing nostalgic for the music of synchronizing modems.

Freenet/Locutus creator Ian Clarke will be speaking at 7pm this Sunday at Chinatown’s C-Level, the neat art/tech collective co-founded by my friend Mark Allen.

Freenet was the first of the next-generation P2P applications, more concerned with anonymous and decentralized content redistribution than with swapping the latest Shania Twain single. Locutus is the commercial arm of Freenet, allowing people to search shared files in controlled groups. Following the lecture, there will be an open meeting of the spanking-new Los Angeles Art and Technology Hackers club. Should make for an interesting evening.

Loudon Wainwright’s “Something for Nothing” is an entertaining and fair commentary on file sharing, from a songwriter’s perspective. Download the MP3 first, and read the lyrics below. (I’m not sure, but I think Loudon would approve.)

Continue reading “Loudon Wainwright's "Something for Nothing"” →

In case you missed the memo, the peer-to-peer application du jour is DirectConnect and its better open-source cousin, DC++.

Their website says a petabyte (1,024 terabytes) is being shared on the network and I believe it. On any given public hub, it’s not uncommon to find individuals sharing 250 gigs or more of data; usually feature films, console games, and software. That’s insane.

What makes it different from the countless other peer-to-peer apps out there? Instead of relying on a central server or networked nodes, DirectConnect looks more like IRC: public or private hubs of individuals, each acting as networked file servers. You can only search the files shared by people connected to your own hub, which means less files but increased security.

Plus, it’s easy to create a private hub for your company or a group of friends, undetectable to any unwanted guests (like the MPAA). You can password-protect your hub too, for the very paranoid.

I’d love to set up a hub for archaic, out-of-print, or unavailable media, like Song of the South, abandonware, arcade ROMs, and bootleg remixes. Is anyone interested?

Continue reading “DirectConnect” →

Holy crap, indeed. This little news item will soon be #1 with a bullet, but Ev just announced at the Blogosphere panel I attended that Google bought Blogger. Ev told me after the panel that the deal has been in the works for four months and he’s already moved offices from San Francisco to Mountain View.

I would expect this means dedicated searching and ranking of weblogs a la Daypop/Blogdex, displaying aggregated weblog content in Google News, and time-based searching of weblogs. But they could do all those things now… Why buy Pyra? Is Google moving toward an expanded portal model of offering publishing/hosting services beyond searching?

For insightful commentary regarding the Google/Pyra buyout, look no further than the Yahoo Message Boards thread.

Yahoo Message Boards continues to be one of the strangest web-based communities ever. I’d love to see someone break down their user base to see if there are regular contributors, or if it’s completely composed of transient users clicking on news items.